The Major Thing

Friends, I came across this post recently and thought it might be an encouragement to you. Enjoy and I hope you have a blessed week. 

The death of George HW Bush has caused me to reflect on what really matters to my children and others at the end of life.  As I was watching the eulogy given by his son George W Bush, I made a mental note of what actually mattered to George W at the end of his father’s life and what things had made him a better, well-adjusted adult.  

His father played games with them, had fun with them, had family dinners with them, and showed them integrity and love for others.  But the thing that seemed to leave the biggest impression on George W was that he loved their mother fiercely.  

Perhaps it was because George HW lost a child, that his family values were so on point.  

In the eulogy George W didn’t mention once that his parents made sure he had organic food his whole life, or had Pinterest worthy birthday parties, or the perfect monogrammed matching outfits with his siblings. He didn’t mention that his parents made sure their week was planned with playdates and millions of extracurricular activities.  He reflected over and over again about how much his dad loved and was dedicated to his mother. 

I worry that we get so caught up in the minor things that we forget the major thing which is teaching our kids what unconditional love and loyalty looks like.  

As a counselor, I see so many marriages falling apart and so much strife and discontentment in life occurring because so much time and attention is spent on the minor things.  The results of this are broken marriages, discontentment, lack of self-esteem, anger, addiction, depression, anxiety, and in some cases suicide.  All of the resources given to the minor things in turn cause the major things to fall apart.  

Feeling secure in a family will have more of a long term effect on the well-being of a person than any of the minor stuff so much of our time and effort is spent on.  We say our value is family, but our actions show something completely different. 

George HW lived to be 94 and evidently couldn’t stomach a vegetable, yet how much of our time is spent on worrying about what we put into our child’s stomach.  

My intent isn’t to say that being cognizant of health and physical well-being isn’t important.  My intent is to say that it isn’t the most important thing.  

Fight for your family.  Nurture your relationship with your spouse.  Don’t treat your children like your world revolves around them.  You might feel pressure or guilt when other people tell you all the wonderful things they are feeding their kids, or feel like less of a parent when you see another Pinterest perfect party, but don’t buy into it. It’s just a distraction from what really matters.  

Don’t make the minor stuff the major stuff.  Have fun, play games, have family dinner, be kind, do good in your community when you have opportunity, show integrity when no one is watching, and love your spouse fiercely.  Fight for your family.  At the end of your life this is what will matter to your children. 

This post was originally published here


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At Marriage Matters USA, our vision is cultivating Christ-centered marriages that glorify God. I’d love to hear from you. You can connect here to get started. As we learn how to serve you, your marriage and build churches that champion strong marriages, ask me how to build a solid marriage ministry for your local church and community? I’m always delighted to help you and talk about how we can make marriages stronger at home, at church and in your community.

This post is from David Sheets. David is founder of Marriage Matters USA. David has been married to Bea for 41 years and they have 2 children and 6 grandchildren. He has served in church ministry for 41+ years in music, worship and marriage ministry. David is a certified facilitator of Prepare|Enrich and SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) assessments. After leading a thriving marriage ministry at McLean Bible Church in Washington DC, David and the board of directors developed a strategy to make this powerful, agile ministry available to church planters, churches and other target groups. Email David here.

 

Marriage Matters USA facilitates the development and growth of marriage ministries by delivering Christ-centered leadership training and providing partnership opportunities among churches to enable them to more effectively enrich marriages in their community.

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