One of the biggest complaints I hear is related to couples not feeling close, of having lost touch with each other. Sometimes this happens because of significant problems and differences between them that have driven them apart. Other times the emotional distance has been created to a large degree by the lack of time given to the relationship. It is easy to get carried away with the flood of responsibilities and things we manage in life. Let’s face it, the list never ends of things to do, places to go, people to see.
But what if there was something you could do to change everything—and it only took six seconds?!
We know from Dr. Gottman’s research couples who feel close have somehow managed to use the same 24 hours in a day that we all have, and dedicate some of that time to the relationship frequently. When they get off track they take a relationship “self correction” turn around and manage to find some time for each other.
One wonderful and simple ritual that many couples have incorporated into their lives is the six second kiss. Instead of the peck on the cheek when you greet each other or say good night, try a kiss that lasts for six seconds.
This is a nice way to be mindful of and present to your partner. It is a way to communicate caring, attention and can really help you feel more connected to your partner. If you don’t feel ready for a kiss, modify; perhaps you could go for the six second hug.
Let’s see: Six seconds, twice a day, times seven days=84 seconds/week. This might be a timely consideration for your relationship. So next time you give your partner a kiss, give it a second thought—six seconds to be exact!
On the Marriage Matters USA Blog, we talk about all things marriage. I’ll definitely explore helpful and fun ideas to strengthen your marriage. As we explore these things, let me ask you to do a few things:
- Give me your feedback. Is this idea helpful? Are there other ways you’ve seen this principle or idea at work in your life? Do you have suggestions for topics? Feel free to email me and let me know what your struggling with—or what you see couples struggling with—the most in your circles at home, at schools, at your church and in the community.
- Give to Marriage Matters USA. We have expenses we wish to cover and some exciting things we’re hoping to release to help strengthen your marriage and lead your church to do this same. But we can’t do it without your help. Visit here to learn more and give.
- Share this post. Sharing posts like this helps our ministry reach more folks who need our help. Please consider sharing this post with your friends by email and on your social media accounts.
At Marriage Matters USA, our vision is cultivating Christ-centered marriages that glorify God. I’d love to hear from you. You can connect here to get started. As we learn how to serve you, your marriage and build churches that champion strong marriages, ask me how to build a solid marriage ministry for your local church and community? I’m always delighted to help you and talk about how we can make marriages stronger at home, at church and in your community.
This post is from David Sheets. David is founder of Marriage Matters USA. David has been married to Bea for 41 years and they have 2 children and 6 grandchildren. He has served in church ministry for 41+ years in music, worship and marriage ministry. David is a certified facilitator of Prepare|Enrich and SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) assessments. After leading a thriving marriage ministry at McLean Bible Church in Washington DC, David and the board of directors developed a strategy to make this powerful, agile ministry available to church planters, churches and other target groups. Email David here.
Marriage Matters USA facilitates the development and growth of marriage ministries by delivering Christ-centered leadership training and providing partnership opportunities among churches to enable them to more effectively enrich marriages in their community.